What does it mean to live with love?
How opening yourself up to sharing and giving love is a win for all
Earlier this year, just before taking a break from publishing here, I encouraged you to live with love.
In recent months, I’ve noticed even more how much we need more love.
Specifically, since returning from the monastery, its absence has become much more apparent.
I’d like to renew that call to live with love.
What exactly does that mean, though?
What does it mean to live with love?
In short, it’s sharing your love with others and allowing yourself to accept others’ love in return.
These are both efforts many, if not all, of us struggle with.
Let’s start with that first part, sharing your love with others.
We all have infinite love within us.
No matter our circumstances, we can respond to them with love.
This doesn’t mean resigning to injustice or being nice when we don’t want to.
Rather, it means recognizing our common humanity and understanding that we’re not so different from one another.
This is easy with people we get along well with.
It’s not so easy when there’s disagreement or conflict.
For example, somebody might hurt us, wrong us, or do something we don’t agree with.
We might even be put in a position where it would be appropriate to stand up for ourselves or others, verbally or physically.
Living with love doesn’t mean letting it go or accepting it without action.
It means doing what’s necessary because it’s necessary, not because we see ourselves as inherently superior, more virtuous, or right.
It means doing so with the understanding that we’ve all got our flaws.
We all experience pain and generally do the best we can, even when it might not look like it.
Many of us are coping with or reacting to our pain, and this often expresses itself as fear, anger, or violence.
We’ve all been dealt different cards.
While we may have control over what we do with the cards we’ve been dealt, we’re still stuck with those cards.
Others’ cards may be different than yours.
They may also lack the mental, emotional, or spiritual tools necessary to play their cards appropriately.
Living with love means keeping that in mind.
Reject the action, not the person.
You don’t know what pain they’re carrying or what fears are driving them.
This can all be tremendously challenging, practically and emotionally.
However, just as a parent can learn to discipline a child with love, we can learn to navigate our differences with love.
Share your love with those who you may think deserve it the least.
They just may be the ones who need it the most.
The second part of living with love, allowing yourself to accept others’ love, is also often a challenge.
Many of us shut ourselves off from others’ love.
We’ve been hurt, and as a result, we take steps to keep ourselves from being hurt again.
This manifests in countless ways.
As mentioned previously, it may come out as fear, anger, or violence.
Similarly, it can lead us to feel more comfortable pretending to be people we’re not.
We put on facades, thinking others won’t love the “real” us, thinking we’re unworthy of their love.
It may also be what drives many of us to isolate or distract ourselves from the rest of the world.
Combatting this isn’t easy.
We can start by shaping our inputs.
That means surrounding ourselves with messages of positivity and optimism.
We might reject such messages at first.
After a time, though, they can slowly erode at our defenses until finally reprogramming us to adopt them for ourselves.
We’re then more comfortable putting ourselves out there and accepting others’ love.
The love we share with each other doesn’t have to come in grand gestures, and it often doesn’t.
It comes in a warm smile, a helping hand, or a kind word.
Sometimes, it comes simply through our presence, through holding space for someone in need.
These thoughts are far from exhaustive in terms of why or how one might live with love.
Hopefully, though, they’re enough to get you started.
Live with love.
We’re all worth it.
You’re worth it.